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Song Backstory | On The Edge Of This Road

2014-August-21

The song “On The Edge Of This Road” is about breaking up… again… and for the last time.

It is a song about heartbreak and betrayal; about losing the ability to trust and believe again in the person you love. It is a mournful cry about what was lost and what will never be. It is about lost dreams and innocence.

It is also a declaration of independence and strength. A declaration that you will not allow yourself to be hurt again. A declaration to move on with your life and leave the past behind. A story about endings and beginnings.

As the song implies, I wrote it on the edge of a back road in Half Moon Bay, looking out on a serious dark steel ocean as the marine layer, clouds, and drizzling rain blew in… a perfect night for breaking up and writing songs.

This is a story like so many others, unique perhaps only in the details… and the depth of the scars.

All that said, it is a sweet song of love and love lost and I hope you enjoy it. -Martie


Lyrics | On The Edge Of This Road by Martie Hevia



For best sound, use headphones to listen to On The Edge Of This Road.


No, I can’t let you do this to me again.
No, I won’t let you pretend to be my friend.
No, I will never trust your eyes again.
I will never smile, so freely,
so carelessly again.
~
No, I can’t find peace and
comfort in your arms… again.
No, I won’t let your well-rehearsed words seduce me again.
No, I will never give my heart and soul
to you… again.
I will never smile, so freely,
so carelessly again.
~
I can only run away from you now.
The tears distort all that may lie ahead
for me now.
Just let me close my eyes and
drown in my pain.
I’ll sit quietly here
on the edge of this road…
In the rain.
~
Don’t say that you love me anymore.
I can’t bear to hear you lie to me anymore.
Don’t say I’m the one, the only one
who made you feel…
Or that our love was unique
or the passion was real.
~
Please go away and don’t call out my name
Don’t whisper “I love you’s” —
It won’t be the same.
The past is all that we have,
as brief as it was.
It’s all that remains here –
That, and my pain.
~
I am reminded of too many sleep-away days.
Dreaming of porches and rocking chairs
and old age.
Realizing God doesn’t always listen
when one prays.
I promise myself I won’t let you
hurt me again…
~
As I quietly sit here…
on the edge of this road…
In the rain.



On The Edge Of This Road | Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

(Available at Amazon)






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Song Backstory | Wasn’t It Eternity?

2014-January-16

Wasn’t It Eternity?” is a song I wrote quite some time ago after the end of my first truly significant adult relationship that, like all truly meaningful relationships, I hoped would last forever.

No doubt, at least once in your life, you have found yourself in one of those relationships where you promise each other, and truly believe, that this relationship will last forever. Sometimes you even walk down the aisle and say those words that promise eternity, that promise a happy ending, but in the end you come to find that even happy endings are still endings.

As I’ve grown older, I have come to realize that so much of a relationship working out is timing. Sometimes you meet the right person at the wrong time. It happens.

The good thing is that there isn’t just one right person for each of us, as fairy tales are wont to tell us, there are many, and if you have the patience to wait, you will meet him or her. (Another one of those things you learn with time.)

Thanks for listening and I hope you enjoy the song. -Martie


Lyrics | Wasn’t It Eternity? by Martie Hevia



For best sound, use headphones to listen to He Used To Be Crazy About Me.


Do you remember the words?
Do you remember the promises?
Do you remember your love for me?
Do you remember our destiny?
Wasn’t it eternity?
Wasn’t it eternity?
Wasn’t it eternity?
~
Listen to the falling rain.
Washing over this heart’s pain.
Listen to how a soul cries out.
Did you forget our destiny?
Wasn’t it eternity?
Wasn’t it eternity?
Wasn’t it eternity?
~
Isn’t it funny how time flies by us?
Isn’t it funny how our faint good-byes
Can echo and haunt you on lonely nights
Wondering what happened to our destiny.
Wasn’t it eternity?
Wasn’t it eternity?
Wasn’t it eternity?
~
Weren’t we always going to be best friends?
Facing new adventures ’round every bend?
Tell me what happened and why it all ends.
Tell me again about our destiny.
Wasn’t it eternity?
Wasn’t it eternity?
Wasn’t it?



Wasn’t It Eternity? | Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

CDs Available at Amazon
More songs & lyrics at my Blue Beach Song Music Blog




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Song Backstory | The Corner Sidewalk Café

2014-January-14

The Corner Sidewalk Café” is a song I wrote a long time ago, initially inspired by one particular café, but becoming an amalgamation of all the cafés in my life that I have made my own.

The café that initially inspired this song was a funky, artsy, café that displayed the art of local artists and had a small stage upon which local musicians and singer-songwriters would play. The overstuffed couches, the whimsically painted chairs and tables with sneakers and drawn chess boards, were among the many things that welcomed you with a smile.

It was a wonderful place to get lost in yourself, in others, in art, in music, and in good coffee and pastries. It was a place to go to be sad, or to be happy, to be alone, or to be with others.

No doubt you have one of those cafés, as well.

Thanks for listening and I hope you enjoy the song. -Martie


Early in the morning,
Walking to the corner café.
(My café)
The fog rolled down the hill
From the San Francisco Bay…
Coloring my world in shades of gray…
(So gray)
Covering the years of tears and pain.
(Too much pain)
Wish it would just rain.
(Let it rain)
How I wish it would rain.
~
A hot cappuccino,
(So hot)
Sprinkled with cinnamon, kisses my lips.
As the steam rises to my face,
Come flashes of moments I miss.
Artists and poets, authors and scholars,
Lovers and broken-hearteds.
Sitting alone or in pairs,
(In pairs)
Falling deep into thoughts or prayers.
(Desperate prayers)
Nothing in common,
but souls drawn to the corner sidewalk café.
(My café)
~
Go by to see the new art
(Your art)
Hanging on the walls so gray.
(Dirty gray)
Or see new people stopping by
Or strolling by the sidewalk café.
(Strolling by)
To join the endless symphony
Of voices and café noises…
To add to the cacophony
Of cups meeting saucers
~
Studying faces,
Guessing at their histories.
Casually eavesdropping
(Reluctantly)
On nearby conversations.
Feeling myself sink…
(Sink-ing)
Into deep thoughts and memories.
(Sad memories)
[Instrumental]
~
Beyond the window,
The fog gives way to the late morning sun.
(That warm sun)
The colors are returning.
The memories are receding;
now almost gone.
(Almost gone)
~
As I watch the world
From the bottom of this hill.
It is another beautiful
San Francisco day.
Outside the cocoon
of the corner sidewalk café.
(My café)
And yet how I wish
(I wish)
It would rain…
(Let it rain)
Oh, I wish it would rain.
(Let it rain)



The Corner Sidewalk Café | Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

CDs Available at Amazon
More songs & lyrics at my Blue Beach Song Music Blog




Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

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Songs of My Life… Just the Beginning

2013-September-2
CD/MP3 Cover Art for Blue Beach Song Collection: ONE | Songs of My Life by Martie Hevia


Well, I did it. It took a few years, but I did it.

In 2010, looking at the hundreds of songs I had written over my life, I set out a goal to copyright and publish my songs, lest they all die with me unheard. After all, if a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it… well, you know the rest.

Because of the work and the cost involved, I decided to copyright and publish my songs in batches. The first batch included 70 songs which I submitted to the Library of Congress’ Copyright Office, with filled out forms, typed out lyrics, properly formatted recordings, and a check.

CD/MP3 Cover Art


Then I began the process of grouping these 70 songs into albums of 10 songs each. Creating the CD artwork, submitting them to Amazon for sale and to SoundCloud for free listening. I also created a music blog, Blue Beach Song Music, where I could put the entire collection of songs with lyrics, CD artwork, music players, and the occasional blog post about a song’s backstory.

And now, I am proud to say, I have completed the first seven albums of my “Blue Beach Song Collection | Songs of My Life” series. So far, this series is comprised of those first 70 raw recordings of the songs I copyrighted back in 2010, but there are many more songs to copyright and publish.

Blue Beach Song Collection: THREE - CD/MP3 Front Cover Art


The songs are raw, as I note in each of the CD covers, not just because of the emotions, but because the recordings are simple, acoustic, one-takes, occasionally layered with my background vocals. And, as you will hear, there is a lot I have yet to learn about sound recording or sound engineering, or singing, for that matter. (I am a work in progress.)

CD/MP3 Cover Art


These one-take recordings of the songs I write is something I usually do to avoid writing out long sheet music. It helps me to remember the melody and some other musical ideas I may have, including background vocals. However, over the years, as I recorded them, it was never with the intention that I would publish them for the world to hear, in fact, sometimes I didn’t even bother to tune my guitar. But as I mentioned, I decided to publish what I had. I didn’t want to die with my songs buried in some drawer. So, they are out there now – the good, the bad, and the ugly ones.

CD/MP3 Cover Art


If you would like to listen to my songs, you can listen for free on a website called SoundCloud, an online community of music and sound artists from around the world, where I have been posting all of my songs and albums. Better yet, go to my music blog, where you can also listen for free, using the embedded SoundCloud players, as you read my lyrics, peruse the album CD artwork, or watch the mini-music videos. (But, if you are so moved, the songs and albums are available on Amazon.)

CD/MP3 Cover Art


CD/MP3 Cover Art


Although I have reached one of my goals, I have written many more songs than the 70 you will find in these seven albums. So, now I begin the process of compiling the next batch of songs that I will need to copyright before I can publish them. That means the next new album you hear from me will be one or two years into the future… and then there are all those songs I will be writing in between!

But in the meantime, if you get a chance to listen, I hope you enjoy this first group of ‘Songs of My Life.’



♫♥ Life journeys inspire lyrics, melody and raw emotion becoming original songs recorded in simple, acoustic, one-takes, written for voice and guitar in an Indie-Pop-Rock-Folk style. -Martie Hevia ♥♫
♥¸.•*´¨`*•.¸♥


A Sampling of… Songs of My Life by Martie Hevia

(Use Headphones for Best Sound)


A Serious Ocean | Lyrics

Drive Me Wild | Lyrics

He Used To Be Crazy About Me | Lyrics

I Don’t Know Love | Lyrics

I Want You All | Lyrics

In the Memories We Sigh | Lyrics

Just A Little More Grace | Lyrics

Little Girl | Lyrics

Little Moments | Lyrics

Melt Away | Lyrics

On The Edge Of This Road | Lyrics

Shattered Rose-Colored Glasses | Lyrics

Synchronicity | Lyrics

The Victorian Farmhouse | Lyrics

Wasn’t It Eternity? | Lyrics

When I Say Good-Bye | Lyrics

When We Meet Again (The Reunion) | Lyrics

With This Ring | Lyrics

You Make Me Feel | Lyrics

You Sacrifice Your Heart | Lyrics

You Want Sex | Lyrics

Your Eyes | Lyrics

Your Hands | Lyrics




Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

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Why Publish Songs of My Life?

2012-December-12

Serendipity - 12-String Guitar HeadAs some of you may know from past blog posts, I have been on a journey to put out a collection of my songs. This mission, if you will, was born the day it occurred to me that if I died, my decades-worth of songs would die with me. That thought helped me overcome my shyness about sharing personal moments in such a public way and insecurities about my musical abilities.

The problem was that, other than writing out the lyrics and the chords in a notebook or on the back of an envelope, along with my own short-hand of musical ideas, no one would ever know my songs because all the melodies were only in my head… except for the one-take recordings I sometimes do after I write a song.

These little one-take recordings are made for my ears only to remind myself of the melody, the arrangement, or the background vocals. It is so much faster than writing out every note and orchestration for every one of my songs.

Nonetheless, these original, simple, acoustic “one-take” recordings that I have done over the years do exist. They document my songs in a very raw and unpolished way, with all the flaws of my singing voice, my occasionally un-tuned guitar, and my lack of knowledge in sound engineering or production. Digital 8-Track Recorder

These original one-take recordings are the songs you will hear in my “Blue Beach Song Collection” series, Songs of My Life. In the last two years, I have put out four albums and I will begin working on albums five through seven soon. When I have documented enough of my songs in this way, I hope to be able to produce more polished versions of my songs, or at least a version at which my overly-critical-self will not cringe.

Martie's Guitar - Serendipity - CaseYou can listen for free here or on SoundCloud, where I have posted my songs. (All of the songs, videos, lyrics, CD artwork, and backstories are also posted on my WordPress music blog. The albums are available on Amazon.)

Below are the songs from the first four albums with links to their lyrics, if you are interested.

Thanks for listening and I hope you enjoy my songs. ♪♫
-Martie | Blue Beach Song™

[UPDATE: I have now published albums ONE through SEVEN.]

Songs of My Life by Martie Hevia
(Albums ONE – SEVEN)

A Matter Of Time | Lyrics

A New Reality | Lyrics

A Serious Ocean | Lyrics

An Old-Fashion Love | Lyrics

Back To A Time Of Innocence | Lyrics

Bare Walls (Moving Day) | Lyrics

Brave For You | Lyrics

Can’t Wait For Love | Lyrics

Caught In Love | Lyrics

Coffee-Flavored Kisses (The Game) | Lyrics

Colorful Flowers | Lyrics

Crumpled Papers On The Floor | Lyrics

Do You? | Lyrics

Do You Remember? | Lyrics

Do You Know? | Lyrics

Don’t You See It? | Lyrics

Drive Me Wild | Lyrics

Endless Days (The F Word) | Lyrics

For That Moment | Lyrics

For You | Lyrics

Frightened Bird | Lyrics

Give Me An Ocean | Lyrics

Give Me Forever | Lyrics

Go Away | Lyrics

He Used To Be Crazy About Me | Lyrics

How Many Times? | Lyrics

I Don’t Know Love | Lyrics

I Want You All | Lyrics

I Will Be There (Nate’s Lament) | Lyrics

I Won’t Let You | Lyrics

In the Memories We Sigh | Lyrics

It’s Lonely Out There | Lyrics

Just A Little More Grace | Lyrics

Let Me Fall (Turtle Shell) | Lyrics

Little Boy Lost | Lyrics

Little Girl | Lyrics

Little Moments | Lyrics

Little Pieces Of You | Lyrics

Lonely On The Inside For You | Lyrics

Lover Runaway | Lyrics

Melt Away | Lyrics

Memorial Song To You | Lyrics

No One But You | Lyrics

No Ring On Your Finger | Lyrics

Oh, Well | Lyrics

On The Edge Of This Road | Lyrics

Round-n-Round I Go | Lyrics

Shatter the Silence | Lyrics

Shattered Rose-Colored Glasses | Lyrics

Sleep-Away Days | Lyrics

Something Left Behind | Lyrics

Somewhere In Time | Lyrics

Synchronicity | Lyrics

The Corner Sidewalk Café | Lyrics

The Lie | Lyrics

The Victorian Farmhouse | Lyrics

Wasn’t It Eternity? | Lyrics

We Never Danced | Lyrics

When I Say Good-Bye | Lyrics

When We Meet Again (The Reunion) | Lyrics

Where Do We Go From Here? | Lyrics

Why? | Lyrics

With A Sigh | Lyrics

With This Ring | Lyrics

Would You Let Me? | Lyrics

You Make Me Feel | Lyrics

You Sacrifice Your Heart | Lyrics

You Want Sex | Lyrics

Your Eyes | Lyrics

Your Hands | Lyrics




Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

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Song Backstory | You Want Sex

2012-October-2

The song “You Want Sex” initially was inspired by a conversation I had with someone I was dating… once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away. We were discussing the different ways men and women, generally speaking, perceive sex.

It became clear from what he was saying that for men, excuse my generalization, sex is mostly and sometimes exclusively a sport. Sex, from a male perspective, is raw, physical, chemical, fun and lustful. Getting to know someone first, talking with them, liking them, and/or falling in love with them are all optional.

If the physical attraction is there, then what’s the problem?

The problem is that most women, I am generalizing again, do need to get to know someone first, talk with them, like them, and, preferably, fall in love with them. Women want a meaningful, spiritual, bonding experience. They want it to mean something.

Although our discussion lasted for hours, in a nutshell, it came down to this:

    Women would rather “make love,” while men just want to “have sex.”

(Somewhere in the middle of this conversation is when the title to a book I have never read, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, inexplicably popped into my head.)

He-Who-Shall-Remain-Nameless explained that women’s expectation of ‘love’ was nonsense, childish and naive, “Adults have sex.

As the conversation continued, I was mentally taking note of what he was saying and how he was expressing it. I couldn’t help feeling there was a song in there somewhere.

The exchange between us that ultimately triggered the lyrics in my head began with his quip: “Any guy who says he needs to be in love to have sex is a loser or a liar. Besides, love is over-rated.”

In that moment, I thought to myself without apology, “I guess I must be a ‘loser,’ because I make love, I don’t have sex.

And there was the song.

The second I got home I grabbed my guitar, pen and paper, sat in the middle of my bed, legs crossed, and poured out the lyrics and music to ‘You Want Sex.” As you will hear, the music has a folk-blues feel, à la Lead Belly, with a little raunchy sprinkled here and there. Aside from the background vocals, the song you hear is exactly as I wrote it that night.

In truth, I had a lot to draw from. It was not the first conversation I had had with guy friends and girl friends and gay friends and boyfriends about the differences between the sexes when it came to sex.

I think there is a collective wisdom and agreement that we each approach sex from different places, we bring different things to the table (or the bed, as it were), and we want different things from it, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. All of that creates a tension of expectations, vocalized in ‘You Want Sex.’

Who knows? Perhaps that tension of expectations adds to the experience for both parties… but I’m no Dr. Ruth.

I hope you enjoy the song. -Martie


Lyrics | You Want Sex by Martie Hevia



For best sound, use headphones to listen to You Want Sex.


You want… Raw animal attraction.
You want… Wild chemical reaction.
You want… Fiery lusty passion.
Who needs love when you’ve got sex?
You don’t want to know me.
You just want to use me for sex.
~
You don’t want to fall in love.
You want sex.
You don’t want to talk.
No, you want sex.
You don’t want to feel.
You just want to steal…
One all-out night of steamy sex.
You don’t want to love me.
You just want to use me for sex.
~
Who needs forever…
With one crazy night of sex?
Who needs affection…
When all you want is sex?
Who needs meaningful interaction…
When all you’re looking for
Is one night of passion?
You don’t want me.
You want my body.
You want sex.
~
You say… Love is over-rated.
You say… Love is over-stated.
You say… Love is so out-dated.
It gets in the way,
Now, don’t you just hate it?
Love is just for losers.
Adult users have sex.
~
Well, baby, I’m a loser,
‘Cause I make love, not sex.



You Want Sex | Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

CDs Available at Amazon
More songs & lyrics at my Blue Beach Song Music Blog






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Song Backstory | He Used To Be Crazy About Me

2012-July-1

He Used To Be Crazy About Me is a song I wrote reflecting back on a relationship I had with a man who, although imperfect as we all are, was infinitely talented as an artist, musician, songwriter, and poet. This renaissance man was passionate and romantic, playful and child-like, intelligent and well-read, adventurous and well-travelled, “an explorer, a bon-vivant.”

Sadly, after the end of our relationship, this brilliant and talented person was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He had been suffering from it for most of his life, but he didn’t know it and no one had given it a name. This mental illness of emotional extremes affects not only the person suffering from it, but every relationship in which they are involved.

At the beginning of our relationship, everything was beautiful, romantic, and passionate, but within a short period of time the mood swings began and the relationship embarked on a roller-coaster ride. If he was in a hypomanic state – the upswing – the relationship soared and he produced some of his best art and music. During the downturns, he would fall into an abyss of depression, anger and stagnation. As he went, so did the relationship.

In time, it wasn’t just his moods that were affected by the bipolar swings, it was his personality and his interactions with others… with me. These swings brought on scary, risky and irresponsible behavior, unpredictability, infidelity, withdrawal, sadness, meanness, bouts of crying, and suicidal thoughts. As I helplessly watched him spiral down into his abyss, I reminded myself that there was an incredibly intelligent, passionate, and talented man in the midst of all that.

We would have the most fascinating conversations that would last hours and hours as time stood still on a beach in Half Moon Bay or on the floor of a walk-in closet. He had a brilliant, creative, genius-like mind. I also had immeasurable admiration for his many talents and was honored when he would find inspiration in me. “He used to sing me his melancholy love songs. He’d paint me into his bi-polar pictures. I used to be his inspiration. I used to fire his imagination. We used to be his greatest creation of love.” The relationship perhaps was a creation of his bipolar condition, a fairy tale romance that could abruptly and unexpectedly turn into a nightmare.

As time went on, his condition worsened. He wasn’t under a doctor’s care and he wasn’t taking medication because we didn’t know he was bipolar. But I felt something had to be wrong. This couldn’t be normal for anyone. I became his caregiver, his everything, “I used to be his one and only. I used to be his purpose, his life. I used to be his best friend, his lover. I used to be his mother, his wife.” No, we never married, although he did ask and I deeply loved him, I just couldn’t commit to a life of pain and uncertainty, hopelessly watching him self-destruct.

The end came suddenly for our relationship, after suffering for years. One day he was passionately in love with me and the next day he left. Although we had met and fallen in love in California, our relationship was only two months old when I accepted a great job offer in Florida. Two months later, he was knocking on my door and had moved to Miami. He asked to stay with me until he found a place, but he never found a place of his own or perhaps he never really looked. Two years later, just as abruptly as he appeared on my doorstep, he decided he was going back to California and he left.

After he returned to California, we still talked regularly. He would call me when he was really up and when he was really down. He would call me during and after the writing of a song or the creation of a painting. He would call me when he had a gallery opening of his art or a performance of his music. He wanted to come back, but I didn’t think it was a good idea. He had started seeing a doctor and he received a bipolar disorder diagnosis. They had started experimenting with different drug cocktails to help his chemical imbalance, but it can take years before the doctors find the right drug combinations that will help.

One day he called me after a horrific night. In great detail, he told me how he had pulled off the side of the road, crying uncontrollably, screaming at the night, and contemplating jumping off the bridge where he stood. “Oh, yes, he used to be crazy about me. Until one day he simply went crazy. He was afraid of life, afraid of me. He would cry like a small child, uncontrollably. He’d pull off the road and scream into the night. One day he wanted me, and the next day he did not.

Thankfully, he didn’t jump off that bridge, instead he checked himself into a psych ward. Eventually, they found the right drug cocktail to help this brilliant man manage his bipolar condition, not in time to salvage our relationship, but in time to save his life. He lives happily in the northwest now with someone else, painting beautiful pictures and writing beautiful songs, no doubt, but I’ll always remember when “He Used To Be Crazy About Me.”


Lyrics | He Used To Be Crazy About Me by Martie Hevia



For best sound, use headphones to listen to He Used To Be Crazy About Me.


He used to be crazy about me.
He used to love me so passionately.
I used to be his one and only.
I used to be his purpose, his life.
I used to be his best friend, his lover
I used to be his mother, his wife.
(End: I used to be crazy about him.)
~
He used to be crazy about me.
He used to be my partner, my soulmate.
I used to be his playmate, his confidant.
I used to be his past, his future,
His present.
He used to be an adventurer.
He used to be an explorer, a bon-vivant.
~
He used to be crazy about me.
He used to sing me his
Melancholy love songs.
He’d paint me into his bi-polar pictures.
I used to be his inspiration.
I used to fire his imagination.
We used to be his greatest
Creation of love.
~
Oh, yes, he used to be crazy about me.
Until one day he simply went crazy.
He was afraid of life, afraid of me.
He would cry like a small child, uncontrollably.
He’d pull off the road
And scream into the night.
One day he wanted me,
And the next day he did not.
But I remember when…
[Go to Verse 1]



He Used To Be Crazy About Me | Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

CDs Available at Amazon
More songs & lyrics at my Blue Beach Song Music Blog






Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

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Starting Over: The Journey from Sickness to Blue Beach Songs of My Life

2011-May-6

A Serious Ocean
(Original Version)


As you may know from reading my posts, I embarked on a journey of making my songs public a year ago, but you don’t know why.

I’ll get back to the why in a moment.

First, I needed to decide whether or not my songs were worth sharing… would someone actually want to hear them? Although I have been singing and writing songs on my guitar since I was six years old, I am as far from a professional singer-songwriter as you can get.

My career path has included being a public relations account executive, a college/university director and assistant dean, and even a high school teacher.


He Used To Be Crazy About Me


Although the teaching began as a fluke detour, a favor to a former teacher of mine, I really fell in love with teaching and with my kids. It also gave me the time to get a Master’s degree.

After five years of teaching, however, I left to return to the real world of university administration, in part because teachers make very little money and I had student loans for a graduate degree to pay back.


Where Do We Go From Here?


A few years into what would be my last high-powered university job, I began to experience a series of symptoms and excruciating pain that took my doctors more than a year to diagnose as a severe case of fibromyalgia and left me barely functional and unable to return to work.


No Ring On Your Finger


Unfortunately, fibromyalgia is a chronic pain condition that they say I will have for the rest of my life, but around which I can learn to manage my life. Although, five years later, I still have no control over when the pains and symptoms will run me over like a freight train, I am learning to avoid the triggers and factors that can exacerbate the symptoms.


The Victorian Farmhouse


Let me take a moment here to note that this is the first time that I have mentioned in my blog that I have fibromyalgia. I wrote a blog post about the condition, Fibromyalgia: What Is It?, without ever revealing I had it. It is something that I have kept private and quiet, as I come to accept it as part of my new reality. I suppose someday I will write about it in greater detail, in the hopes of helping someone else, but not today… not in this blog post.


You Want Sex


Suffice it to say that I had to re-invent myself. I had to look at my skill set, my hobbies, my interests, and figure out a way to make a living from home. So, I made a list of intangible assets, which included my computer skills, multimedia and graphic design skills, experience in marketing and public relations, my creativity, my writing skills, my photography, and my song-writing. It was like making a soup, by looking in the fridge to see what you have and coming up with a recipe to fit.


Shattered Rose-Colored Glasses


Next, I began doing research on the Internet to educate myself about publishing my songs, about ways that I could make money from my photography and designs, and to find ways to promote and cross-promote what I determined I had to offer: my writing, my photography and designs, and my songs. The marketing mind kicked in, I wanted one name upon which to build a brand, that would help me cross-promote the three prongs – the written, the visual, the audio – that one name was: Blue Beach Song.


The Corner Sidewalk Café


Fortunately for me, the Internet provides a plethora of marketing vehicles, including blogs, Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, MySpace and countless other media (mediums) – all free and all accessible from home. Just what I needed.


In The Memories We Sigh


After some comparative research, I chose WordPress – a free, customizable and easy to use blog hosting site – as the place to showcase my writings and give my ventures a voice. In fact, I created three blogs for the three prongs: Blue Beach Song, Blue Beach Song Creations and Blue Beach Song Music. Check!


When I Say Good-Bye


Then I discovered Zazzle, a print-on-demand company through which I could create products with my photography and designs, allowing me to create a virtual shop with as many products as I could create, and framed photo prints to rival any photo gallery. The quality of the products and the printing is excellent, as is their customer service and generous return policy. These things were important for me to feel comfortable putting my name, photos and designs on their products and recommending them to others. Check!


Coffee-Flavored Kisses (The Game)


As for my music, I found CreateSpace, an Amazon company that can publish my songs and albums as MP3s and CDs for free, providing the barcode numbers and sales through Amazon. In addition to publishing music, they publish books and e-books, as well, so, naturally, as a writer who is also working on a few books, I loved that CreateSpace can also publish a hard copy or e-version of my books, provide the ISBN numbers for free, and sell them through Amazon. Check! Check!


Do You?


So, at this point I had the big road map and resources in place, I created accounts with the name ‘Blue Beach Song‘ in WordPress, Zazzle, CreateSpace, Twitter, Facebook, MySpace and YouTube.


Colorful Flowers


The next step was to assess what materials I had on hand, including photographs, designs, song recordings, equipment, hardware and software; assess what I absolutely needed to get started and get it or create it; and, finally, assess what would take my ventures to the next level and set some goals and plan for it.


Do You Know?


The vast library of photographs I had taken on my many adventures through California, before I got sick, was a good start. After converting the photos to jpegs and adding a copyright notice to them, to protect my rights, they were ready to be uploaded to my Zazzle photo gallery and shop.


Round-n-Round I Go


The hundreds of songs I had written over my lifetime were not ready for release. First, I had to make sure to protect my intellectual property through a formal copyright. So, I copyrighted my songs with the Library of Congress’ Copyright Office. It could not have been easier. I just needed to type up the lyrics and provide a recording of each of the songs, fill out the online application, pay $35, and presto! The moment you apply for copyright, your songs can be considered legally protected, even though it will take 6 months before you receive the formal certificate of copyright.


An Old-Fashion Love


After I copyrighted my songs, I began reviewing my recordings, which I had done years ago on an antiquated 8-track digital recorder. I tried my hand at mixing and engineering a final version of those recordings. I didn’t yet have the energy or the health to re-record my songs, so, I had to use what I had recorded long ago.

These recordings were one-takes, often with my 12-string guitar barely tuned, mistakes and bad singing included. But, in truth, at the time, I was more focused on documenting the song’s melody and lyrics, than I was on the quality of the singing and recording. I never intended for anyone else to listen to those recordings.


Bare Walls (Moving Day)


Still, I decided, to publish the original song recordings. I didn’t have the money or health to formally record at a studio, and I didn’t know when I would, but I needed to fulfill my dream to publish my songs before I died, in spite of my bad singing and out-of-tune guitar playing! Perhaps one day, a real singer will want to record one of my songs or someone will want to buy them or use them in a movie, and if that ever happens it will only be because I finally took the chance and I published them. As Wayne Gretzky is quoted as saying, “You miss 100% of the shots you never take.”

Since I literally have hundreds of songs, which I wanted published as quickly and efficiently as possible, I decided to come up with simple and consistent titles and designs for the albums and to create a Blue Beach Song Collection, numbered ONE through however many albums it would take to publish all the songs, as a way of creating a published archive of my songs. (So, far, I have two albums out.)


Sleep-Away Days


The titles are virtually the same, ‘Blue Beach Song Collection: ONE | Songs of My Life by Martie Hevia,’ with only the number of the album changing in the title. The songs are randomly chosen and put into albums of 10 songs. The CDs have a consistent layout and design to tie them together as part of a collection, with only the cover photo and the theme color changing from album to album. And, if you want to purchase the albums, they are available on Amazon.


Why?


Eventually, I will release new recordings of my songs, in albums with a theme that ties the songs in that album together… but that’s down the road.

For now, my songs are what they are – rough, acoustic, one-takes – as you will hear. The lead and background vocals are all me; the bad guitar playing and rhythms are all me; the bad mixing and engineering are all me. I cannot blame anyone else, but me.


On The Edge of This Road


However, someday, I hope to re-record them properly, health and money permitting, doing as many takes as needed to get the singing and the guitar playing right, recorded on good equipment, with the thought in mind that others will be listening to them, and with the strong desire to produce a beautiful sound recording worth buying.

But, for now, if you can see your way past the mistakes, the bad recording quality, the bad singing, the bad guitar playing, then maybe you can discover the lyrics and the melody, which are little pieces of my soul, little snapshots in time… they are the Songs of My Life.



Blue Beach Song Collection Favorites
Songs of My Life by Martie Hevia






Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

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My Favorite Song Drippings

2011-February-23

Ahh, my favorite song drippings… Hmm? What do I mean?

In my case, I am referring to all those delicious little pieces from songs I have written that I enjoy singing or hearing in the song, or reading in the lyrics. They may be little pieces with special hidden meanings only I know about, or they may turn a phrase in a certain creative way, or the words may play with each other and/or the melody in a way I could never have intentionally created… an organic creation, a serendipitous gift.

Serendipity - 12-String Guitar Head

The idea for writing about my favorite song drippings came to me as a result of my unwillingness to write about about all the many serious things that have been going on around the world in the last few weeks… revolutions in the Middle-East and protests in the Mid-West; the insane or not-fully-thought-out ideas and policies being considered or implemented to reduce the deficit or to deal with illegal immigration or to save social security or to destroy unions; the Republicans and the Democrats fighting over how to manage the budget and improve the economy; the President and Congress fighting over… well, everything; and a myriad of other topics that merit comment, but about which I have way too much to say, and about which I require a great deal more reflection… at least for now.

As I debated with myself about whether I should write new blog posts on those many things, a phrase from one of my songs (Oh, Well) kept coming to me: “I don’t speak to you, there’s too much to say.” And basically, there you have the reason why I have not written in a while and the reason why I am writing a blog post about my favorite song drippings, because perhaps we, and by we I probably mean I, need some stress-free, soul-feeding words to read… song drippings, like juicy mango drippings your tongue stretches out to lick as they slide down your chin and your hands.

Besides, after all the scary, dangerous, stressful, and uncertain things we are reading about everyday, perhaps a few mango drippings is exactly what we need!

My Favorite Song Drippings from Songs of My Life

[NOTE: If you would like to read the rest of the lyrics or listen to the song, click on the title below the ‘dripping’ to go to the song’s page. Use headphones for the best sound. ‘Drippings’ are only from my released songs. P.S. I included some of my photo drippings, as well. -M.]

Big Sur Rocky Coast Print - Select Your Frame print



But, first, I want a serious ocean.
Wait for the fog to roll in.
I want steel blue, steel gray colors,
Blended with muted greens.
Make sure it’s so cold it hurts.
Make sure you mean all your words.
Then hold me close and let me cry.
Before you walk away…
Say good-bye.

— ‘A Serious Ocean by Martie Hevia

Dew on a Red Rose Print





All-night diners
Talking through the night
Coffee cups, apple pies,
Getting lost in your eyes
Asking questions,
Asking why
It took so long to find
An old-fashion love.

— ‘An Old-Fashion Love by Martie Hevia

Santa Cruz Redwoods Print - Select Your Frame print







Bare Walls
Once they said hello,
now I say good-bye to these
Bare Walls
Pack up the memories and dry the tears
Say farewell to all the years
wrapped in these Bare Walls

— ‘Bare Walls (Moving Day) by Martie Hevia

Dew Drops on a Yellow Daisy - Photo Print print





Coffee-flavored kisses
On a quiet rainy morning.
Sharing some old photographs,
While studying your face.
As my mind wanders back in time
I wish we could start over
But I know it wouldn’t be different now
As we approach the end of the game.

— ‘Coffee-Flavored Kisses (The Game) by Martie Hevia



I like endless talks and slow dancing
I prefer bad coffee over good tea
I like noisy, busy, city cafés…
Do you?

— ‘Do You? by Martie Hevia

Deer in Woods - Select Your Frame print



You find your way
into every thought and prayer.
You inspire every word,
every tear, every smile.
And with a touch or a look
You silence the noise in my head…
Calming the restless world.
— ‘Do You Know? by Martie Hevia

Carmel Sunset Couple Print - Select Your Frame print





He used to be crazy about me.
He used to love me so passionately.
I used to be his one and only.
I used to be his purpose, his life.
I used to be his best friend, his lover
I used to be his mother, his wife.

— ‘He Used To Be Crazy About Me by Martie Hevia


Long after the rain
Something in the air remains
Long after we’re gone
Our echoes go on
Long after they die
They live on in the tears we cry…
in the memories we sigh…
in the words of this lullaby.

— ‘In The Memories We Sigh by Martie Hevia

Coyote Creek Print - Select Your Frame print



I saw you today
And I noticed
No ring on your finger.
This action spoke louder
Than all your words could ever say.
And this gesture
Whispered to me
That we are finally over.
As my smile veiled a heart
Smothering in unbearable pain.

— ‘No Ring On Your Finger by Martie Hevia

Santa Cruz Mountain Road Print - Select Your Frame print





No, I can’t find peace and
comfort in your arms… again.
No, I won’t let your well-rehearsed words
seduce me again.
No, I will never give my heart and soul
to you… again.
I will never smile, so freely,
so carelessly again.

— ‘On The Edge Of This Road by Martie Hevia

California Coastline Card Series (5) card







Let’s find an empty beach somewhere
And build a warm fire on a sand dune
Make love to me as you deeply stare
Into my eyes under a round moon.

— ‘Round-n-Round I Go by Martie Hevia

Pink Poppies Garden Print - Select Your Frame print









A snake in the grass
A cover-your-ass type of guy.
Rose-colored glasses are dangerous things
Ignorant bliss doesn’t exist
The pain only builds and it builds
and it builds.

— ‘Shattered Rose-Colored Glasses by Martie Hevia

San Francisco Bay Area Print - Select Your Frame print






You left letters and photographs,
and storybook words, songs, and rhymes.
Dried flowers and wine corks
and movie ticket stubs…
Ripped pieces of a marriage license
held by yellowing tape…
I gave you my heart, my soul, my trust
And you took them all away.

— ‘Sleep-Away Days by Martie Hevia

White Rose Bud Print/Poster - Select Your Frame print





A hot cappuccino,
Sprinkled with cinnamon, kisses my lips.
As the steam rises to my face,
Come flashes of moments I miss.
Artists and poets, authors and scholars,
Lovers and broken-hearteds.
Sitting alone or in pairs,
Falling deep into thoughts or prayers.
Nothing in common,
but souls drawn to the corner sidewalk café.
…To join the endless symphony
Of voices and café noises…
To add to the cacophony
Of cups meeting saucers.

— ‘The Corner Sidewalk Café by Martie Hevia

Carmel Sunset 10 Print - Select Your Frame print


When I say good-bye
I’ll be strong, I won’t cry.
When I say good-bye
I know you won’t have to try.
And your days begin,
And your days will end
And your heart won’t
Skip a beat for me.
And the things you broke
Will never heal,
Will never mend in me.

— ‘When I Say Good-Bye by Martie Hevia

Blue Daisy Print - Select Your Frame print




Tearful eyes
Never know how to say good-bye.
Two lonely souls longing for the other, ask
“Why?
Why do you have to go?”
“We should already know…
Where we should go from here.”

— ‘Where Do We Go From Here? by Martie Hevia

Lake Tahoe Print - Select Your Frame print






Why take my ring
and everything I am?
Why pretend to be, in front of me,
a different kind of man?
Why pursue me so charmingly
only to push me away?
Why hide from me and not the world
your other victim, the other girl?
So can you answer for me:
“Why?”

— ‘Why? by Martie Hevia

Deer in Hills Print - Select Your Frame print





Who needs forever…
With one crazy night of sex?
Who needs affection…
When all you want is sex?
Who needs meaningful interaction…
When all you’re looking for
Is one night of passion?
You don’t want me.
You want my body.
You want sex.

— ‘You Want Sex by Martie Hevia




Do you have some favorite drippings from songs you listen to? Those little pieces of songs that speak to you, that move you, that marked a special moment in your life, or that take you back in time? I hope you share some of your favorite song drippings.




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CD Artwork | Blue Beach Song Collection: TWO

2011-January-14

CD/MP3 Cover Art

CD Booklet (Outside) Art

CD Booklet (Inside) Art

CD Tray Card (Back) Art

So, I finished my second album and here is the CD artwork. You will note that the design is basically the same as the first, purposely so, to visually give a cohesive look to the Blue Beach Song Collection. The collection’s purpose is to document and collect the songs I have written over the decades.

The recordings are simple, acoustic, one-takes, just like in the first album. There is a lot I have yet to learn about sound recording or sound engineering or singing, for that matter. But I have never considered myself a singer, I just write songs.

As I shared the artwork for the first CD album, I share the artwork for the second. Let me know what you think. Your feedback and comments are always welcomed and appreciated.

Wishing you all the best,
-Martie

Available at Amazon:
Blue Beach Song Collection: TWO | Songs of My Life by Martie Hevia

Carmel Sunset Couple Print - Select Your Frame print
Carmel Sunset Couple Print Photography by Martie Hevia





Martie Hevia (c) All Rights Reserved

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